Poor Kissing and Swine Flu – Dating Video

No, I am not wondering whenever you spread swine flu by kissing. Everyone understands you can get swine flu from making love with bacon. Everything I’m interested in is whether terrible kissing, like swine flu during 2009, is becoming an epidemic.

Like Loch Ness Monster, or Bigfoot, crazy hearsay of terrible kisser sightings had floated around for decades. But we not really believed them. After all, how can you screw upwards kissing?! Until two months ago, my answer ended up being, you simply can’t. Isn’t really kissing always about someplace throughout the pleasant size? In an evil case situation it might be a-1, but it’s still in positive region (let us see…i possibly could be creating aside with this girl or enjoying reruns associated with Jersey Shore and I’d be equally happy…and yes, viewing reruns of Jersey Shore counts as good territory for me…clearly i’ve reduced requirements for just what constitutes a confident experience). But dipping into adverse region? Difficult! Roughly I thought…

Molly and I also happened to be on another go out, and it also was in fact a lot of enjoyment. Food, certain beverages (ok, lots of), and then we wandered her back into the woman apartment. At the front door we went set for a goodnight hug, and what I had gotten in return was…well…imagine if someone else put a cold baby carrot inside lips right after which just let it remain there. That was her language. After all, just this lump in my lips, that I have always been attempting to poke at some using my own language to find out if it is actually alive, and receiving virtually no reaction. It was therefore lifeless that I really pulled back again to find out if she had passed away away mid-kiss. Maybe not joking. Regrettably maybe not. Yikes. Shortest makeout previously.

Alright. Good. One poor kisser in a lifetime? I will live with that. Until…

…this time it actually was a first day. In fact it was not actually a date. Jess and that I have been set up by a common friend, and our very own genuine basic go out wasn’t said to be for another few times. But on Saturday-night I got a text from her saying “Hey! I am out in town with many pals. Come satisfy you for a drink!” Therefore I did. Blah blah blah, we finished up falling the lady down at the woman spot, and next thing you know we are generating out. Or i assume that’s what it was supposed to be. What it was was absolutely frightening. The most effective way I would explain it will be if the woman language and my personal mouth area were a mortar and pestle, and she had been trying to work whole grain in the rear of my personal throat. Which alone was actually worrisome adequate to make me personally not want to hug for some time, long time…and then…well…ummm…she started to use my top front side teeth as a tongue scraper. Really. She’s putting the woman tongue within my mouth area, lodging it up against my top teeth, then scraping it as she brings it of my personal mouth area. And perform. What…the…fuck granny tonight?! She’s teeth correct? Very she understands 1) they cannot feel anything and 2) which is friggin gross? I found myself in fact hoping that I found myself becoming Punk’d. But no these chance. So we have a brand new champion for shortest makeout ever before.

Really, with two terrible kissers in a row i’m really worried about this getting an epidemic. I’m not sure everything do to end a negative kisser epidemic, but whatever really, are we able to kindly log in to this ASAP? Since if I have an additional bad makeout, kissing could join crazy chicken and oysters one of several things You will find quit after terrible encounters. Even though I can endure without Wild chicken and oysters, existence without kissing is not any existence after all. HELP!!!!